Make Room For Daddy!
Five Keys to Getting Daddy Involved in Baby’s Life
When I began writing romance novels featuring heroes and heroines brought together by babies, I realized that my couple would be apart too much while the heroine took care of her baby’s needs, unless I could figure out a way to get my hero “daddy” into his baby’s life.
So I went to the experts for help. I asked a group of new moms how they finagled, sweet-talked or coerced their husbands into helping with baby and together we uncovered five keys to getting daddy to help.
- Tell him what to do
- Show him how to do it
- Talk him through it
- Have a little faith
- Don’t expect perfection
Tell him what to do.
Most men aren’t opposed to helping with a baby. They simply have no clue what to do. Giving your husband specific baby tasks is the first step to getting him involved. Starting with simple jobs like finding the baby wipes (while you do the diaper changing) and using a matter-of-fact tone of voice begin the process of showing him that it’s normal for him to involved with baby duty.
Show him how to do it.
Even we moms faced a bit of fear the first time we diapered, bathed or fed our babies. Your husband is no different. If he’s never dipped eight pounds of wiggling happiness into a plastic tub of warm water, he’ll be apprehensive about pitching in. Giving him complete instructions on how to securely hold your little one in the water, washing him one-handed, and wrapping him in the baby towel will go a long way to boosting his confidence.
Talk him through it.
If you’ve already shown him how to feed your baby and he still shows signs of apprehension, talk him through it a time or two. Have your husband actually perform the task, but stay in the room – doing something like folding laundry or picking up toys so he can’t hand the baby to you – and talk him through the task.
Have a little faith.
Though there may be times you will stay in the room as your husband feeds, diapers or bathes your little one, don’t hover. The more confident you are in your husband’s abilities, the more confident he will be in himself, and the more often he’ll jump in to help.
Don’t expect perfection.
If you re-diaper your baby every time your husband changes him, or check the readings on the bottle to make sure he fed the baby the proper amount, all that wonderful confidence you’ve been building will disappear.
A loose diaper or two never killed anyone, and if your husband has a different method for getting a burp, as long as he relieves your baby’s gas, it’s okay.
The important thing about easing your husband into helping with your baby is that you are building relationships. Getting daddies involved with babies is essential to creating a strong family.
Learning these tricks has helped make my stories about new moms and dads more realistic. The added dynamic of the relationship between a new dad and his baby makes each story richer. Involving your husband in your child’s life right from the beginning is the first step to ensuring a lasting, loving bond.
Susan Meier
|
