A few nights ago, my husband turned on one of the DIE HARD movies with Bruce Willis. Now, I’m a big Bruce Willis fan, but after we pass viewing 100 of any action movie and I can repeat most of the dialogue and perform some of the stunts …well, it sort of loses its appeal.

Still, my husband loves action movies. And who knows? Maybe he likes being able to do the stunts in his head?

So I grabbed a Silhouette Romantic Suspense. As my husband watched Bruce, I read the book. Pretty soon, some of the things Bruce was doing on the TV screen began to sort of parallel the actions of the hero in the book.

Bruce, of course, is saving his ex wife. For all their differences, he loves her and he’s a man of honor and responsibility…Hey! So was the guy in the book a man of honor and responsibility. For all the differences the book's hero had with the heroine, he was sticking by her in their crisis. Duty and responsibility wouldn’t allow him to desert her.

I suddenly began to see that the reason my husband loves action adventure was the same reason I loved romance novels. The hero’s duty, honor and willingness to risk his own neck for the woman he loved played to virtues my husband not only respected but also had. Virtues we also value in romance novels. No matter how Alpha the male, romance novel heroes always have a sense of duty, honor and responsibility.

Maybe men and women aren’t so different after all? LOL.

I recently read a snippet from an article that said romance novels were ruining women’s lives because women who read them compared their husbands to a “hero” who doesn’t exist except in fiction. Really? If that’s the case I feel sorry for those women. Because I believe that real heroes do exist. Ask the people who depended upon them after 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina or the recent bridge collapse.

Heroes do exist and not just in disasters. I believe it takes heroic virtue for a husband to tolerate an abusive boss or a crappy job so that he can support his family. It definitely takes heroic virtue for a husband to learn to change diapers to not only do his part around the house, but also to bond to his children. Sometimes it takes heroic virtue NOT to lose your temper with an argumentative neighbor – which is what you would have done in your twenties – so your kids will learn to resolve conflicts peacefully.

I’d compare my husband any day to the heroes in the action-adventure movies he loves AND the romance novels I love.

Real love isn’t about six-pack abs, piercing gazes and perfect hair. Even in romance novels, those are just the outside package. The stuff that causes us to take a second look. And if you’re honest you’ll admit that it was your husband’s good looks that caused you to talk to him, or flirt, or maybe even ask him out.

But we all get beyond looks really quickly. Especially if the guy is a jerk. Why? Because real love is about duty, honor and responsibility. And you’ll see that if you look a little deeper into any romance novel. The hero and heroine don’t fall in love because of desperate passion. They fall in love because each has qualities the other admires. The good looks and passion might get them together but only real virtue can keep them together.

So when I read a romance, I don’t look at how my husband “falls short” next to the hero. Instead, I allow the romance novel hero and the heroine whom he respects and honors (in spite of the fact that they have a huge conflict to overcome) to remind me of all the good things about my husband. All the reasons I married him.

So the next time you pick up a romance novel, and I hope it’s SUDDENLY A DADDY, , see if you can’t find some of your husband’s good traits in the traits of the hero…and see if that doesn’t give you the silly, flip-flop feeling in your stomach and remind you of all the reasons you didn’t just fall in love…you committed to him.